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"Don't drink the water, and don't get AIDS."

Yup, that pretty much sums up The Real World Cancun so far. The quote, as spoken by Joey on last night's premiere episode, serves as the two major guidelines for what looks like a silly, silly season. I'll admit that my expectations coming into this season were beyond low — going to Cancun seemed like a horrid step backwards for a franchise that had seen revitalization in the more career-centric Hollywood and Brooklyn seasons. But if there's anything I should have remembered, it's that if my old employers Bunim-Murray know anything, it's how to do Cancun. Yes, I saw The Real Cancun in the theaters (produced by Bunim-Murray), and I loved it. So far, this season looks to be an unofficial sequel.

The first part of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special aired last night, and the predominant feeling was... eh? I knew it would be damn near impossible to live up to the televised nirvana that was The Last Supper director's cut hour from last week, but who knew this reunion would be so bland? There was hardly a scuffle, nary a shout, and barely a bitchy accusation. So far, it's shaped up to be the worst Housewives reunion of the year! And just when we started to get some drama, emcee wunderkind Andy Cohen told the ladies to stop and save it for later. WTF??? Nevertheless, I'm not sure there were any notable moments worth sharing. Let's see...

Still recovering from the snooze-athon that was NYC Prep? Well, thankfully we have another episode of Top Chef Masters tonight to drag us out of the doldrums. Among the competing chefs this week will be Rick Bayless and Ludo Lefebvre, the latter of whom reality fans may remember for his cameo appearance on The Apprentice 5 (his wife Christine was a contestant and later a model in Playboy). Anyway, in the clip above, the two Masters clash over street food (and by "clash," I mean politely register mild frustration), but what I care more about is fellow contestant Cindy Pawlcyn, who announces to us that she and her gal pals seek out offal every week in a nifty club called "Girls Who Eat Guts." Sexy!

BAM! It's a Nene house tour!

Check it out! Bravo JUST released this clip moments ago. The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back for season two, and joining them is new cast member Kandi, formerly of the '90s not-so-supergroup Xscape. To be honest, I haven't even watched this video. I'm just gonna post it, and then take a looksie. Should be fun...

Columnist Ernie Saxton, in his MY TWO CENTS WORTH Column in Area Auto Racing News (Tuesday, June 9, 2009) talked about suspended NASCAR driver/crewman Carl Long and the circumstances surrounding his problems with NASCAR.

As usual it’s a controversy that has polarized those who think that NASCAR made a big deal out a slight infraction, which was 0.17 oversize cubic inches.

Depending who you talk to about it, you get a different opinion. In this case NASCAR is the only one that counts and Long got a 12-week suspension along with a 200 grand fine plus the loss of 200 points.

In case you missed it last night, here's the explosive (read: HILARIOUS) video of Teresa flipping a table at Danielle, née Montana Moorehead, née Milton Moorehead, during the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale. Watching her rev herself up into a frenzy is something to behold. Even people who don't watch the show should be entertained by this clip.

Hype = fulfilled.

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

After weeks of anticipation, we finally got to see the epic brawl on The Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight, and it did not disappoint in the least. It was — as the kids say — O.O.C. (That stands for "Out of Control"). I'm telling you, there has never been a fight like this in Housewives, nay, Bravo history. There were lies, accusations, screams, and one unlucky tabletop that went falling to the floor. In short, it was amazing.

It's the moment we've been waiting months for. Ever since we saw Teresa flip a table during the Real Housewives of New Jersey preview special back in April, we've been eagerly anticipating what looks to be the most over-the-top blowout in Bravo history, and now the moment is almost here. Tonight, the shockingly short New Jersey season draws to a close with the ladies all gathering at a restaurant for dinner, and guess who makes things awkward? Good ol' Danielle. I won't tell you exactly what she does because it's so bizarre and awful yet wonderfully hilarious. You just have to see it for yourself in the clip above, which serves as a mere teaser for the drama (and airborne furniture) to come.

Oops! I forgot to post this earlier this week, but NBC's epic, butterfly-centric series Kings returns to the airwaves tonight! My friend works on the show, and I promised her I'd show it some love. It got great reviews, but apparently never found an audience. Well, now's your chance to check it out.

Kings. Tonight. NBC. 8 PM (I think — check your local listings)

I finally caught the premiere episode of Top Chef Masters last night, and I actually liked it way more than I thought I would. I feared that it would dilute the brand — and the lack of Tom or Padma or Gail (not to be confused with Gael) — would cheapen the experience, but no, it was just fine. Hostess Kelly Choi seemed incredibly nervous in front of the camera as her face was often contorted into an uncomfortable scowl, but aside from her generally awkward and eye-flaring presence, everything seemed fine. The new judges were articulate and informed — even if I didn't quite trust Red Sweater's knowledge of tailgating food.

I suppose Tuesday night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was the calm before the storm. That's because next week, we're already at the much-hyped season finale where tables are flipped, fingers are pointed, and bellows of "WHHHHOORREEEEE!!!!" are screamed across all of Bergen county. Yeah, it's gonna be a doozy, and I personally can't wait. But for now, we have last night's pleasant but rather uneventful episode to contend with. Coming off the drama of "THE BOOK," I was really hoping this installment would build on the tension in Franklin Lakes, but it instead it served as a bit of a palate cleanser.

We think that NASCAR and the Sprint Car Series has an opportunity, right now, to turn things around in the ratings. The sanction should let the drivers be themselves much like Kyle Busch as last weekend at Pocono when he destroyed an expensive custom built guitar. Much like some the rock stars do in their performances on stage. His explanation was that he wanted to give his winning crew a memento. Some of what we are talking about is drivers and crewman involved in some on track controversy including physical contact.