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Hype = fulfilled.

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

After weeks of anticipation, we finally got to see the epic brawl on The Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight, and it did not disappoint in the least. It was — as the kids say — O.O.C. (That stands for "Out of Control"). I'm telling you, there has never been a fight like this in Housewives, nay, Bravo history. There were lies, accusations, screams, and one unlucky tabletop that went falling to the floor. In short, it was amazing.

I suppose Tuesday night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was the calm before the storm. That's because next week, we're already at the much-hyped season finale where tables are flipped, fingers are pointed, and bellows of "WHHHHOORREEEEE!!!!" are screamed across all of Bergen county. Yeah, it's gonna be a doozy, and I personally can't wait. But for now, we have last night's pleasant but rather uneventful episode to contend with. Coming off the drama of "THE BOOK," I was really hoping this installment would build on the tension in Franklin Lakes, but it instead it served as a bit of a palate cleanser.

Earlier this week, MTV aired a Very Special episode of The Hills. Not only did it serve as Lauren Conrad's last appearance in the franchise as a regular cast member, but it also ushered in the newlywed era of Speidi, whose nuptials were documented for the world to see. And yes, it was all just as ridiculous as you could imagine. From the bridal shower to the rehearsal dinner to some frivolous scenes in between, there was much to laugh at over the course of this seminal hour. And let's not overlook the return of Krsitin Cavallari, on hand to save the series from the Conrad-free doldrums. It's great to have her back. I only hope she can reinvigorate this show the way she did Laguna Beach. Something tells me she has it in her.

It's official. I'm now loving The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It's nowhere near as amazing and perfect as New York, but I think it can hold its own with the rest of the franchise. Last night's episode was compelling (in a trashy, shouldn't-be-admitting-it kind of way) but also very funny. Caroline remains my favorite of the group with her guarded, maternal instincts. During the dance lesson, I thought she'd come roaring off her little couch the moment Danielle put Christopher's hands on her hips. Let me tell you a something about Caroline: she does not like cougars around her cubs.

The eighth season of American Idol wrapped up last night, and like last year's finale, the contest came down to a much-hyped, odds-on favorite and a quieter dark horse with surprising resiliency. But would the outcome be the same? Would The Chosen One go down in flames for a second year in a row? Well, you probably already know the answer to that question by now, but in case you're one of the five people out there who has yet to hear the news, I'll wait until after the jump to reveal all...

Okay, Kris won.

Last night we had our second dose of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and while they're not as gabby as their New York counterparts or as catty as the Orange County bitches, they're well on their way to being outlandish in a certain mafia-fabulous sort of way. At the forefront of that is Teresa, who continues to relish in marble infused gaudiness. Not only is her dream house decked out like the second coming of Leonard's, but everything she does oozes with nouveau riche excess. Take, for instance, the horrifying trip she took with her daughters to Jersey's premiere couture outlet, Bella Bambini. Those girls made Johan and François look like precious angels in comparison.

Well, we only have a few more hours left before American Idol ends its eight season and a new victor is crowned. Who will it be? The odds on favorite is Adam Lambert, the squealing costume factory who has earned almost unmitigated praise from the judges all season. However, sneaky Kris Allen could wind up pulling an upset, à la David Cook who persevered last year almost in response to all the unrelenting hype afforded to his rival, David Archuletta. On last night's final performance show, Simon Cowel & Co. were careful to keep their remarks opinionated but not over the top in any one direction — perhaps to save themselves the embarrassment of calling the show for one contestant and having the other win (as is what happened last year).

I really didn't think The Real Housewives of New York City could top Tuesday's tumultuous hour of reunion fighting, but last night, they proved me wrong. Thursday was Kelly's time to truly shine, and what we got was nothing but a stream of incoherent ramblings from the model/socializer/owl enthusiast. The woman literally made no sense, and while at time I could soooort of understand her thought process, she was still too inarticulate to convey her points, thus causing further drama as the other ladies happily jumped on every poorly chosen word of Ms. KILLOREN Bensimon.

Photo courtesy of Rickey.org

I should have more faith in America. After David Cook pulled the surprise — and deserved — upset over David Archuletta on last year's American Idol finale, I should have realized that often America doesn't blindly follow the misguided praise of the judges. If I had remembered that, I wouldn't have been so delightfully surprised last night when Danny Gokey finally got the boot, thus sparing us one week (or at least one night) from hearing his forceful growl. I don't think he expected to be going home in the least. In fact, I think he thought he was gonna win it all. He probably thought he'd pull a surprise upset over Adam Lambert — David Cook style.

There can only be one explanation for the unmitigated praise that the American Idol judges bestowed on Adam and Danny last night: crack. Well, I suppose there's a second explanation: the music must just sound different live. Danny and Adam, who admittedly have very powerful voices, must translate stupendously well in person because on TV, I just didn't get all the adoration spewed their way. Similarly, I didn't necessarily understand the lack of enthusiasm directed at Kris Allen (at least his first song). There's some sort of topsy-turvy thing going on that makes crappy music sound good to them and vice versa. Whatever it is, I'm here to pipe in and say that no, Danny and Adam were not God's gifts to music Tuesday night. In fact, they were rather ordinary.

I could really go for a Triscuit right now.

As many people may know, I've been an Apprentice fan since the very beginning — loyally standing by the show even as an undeserved backlash nearly threatened to sink it completely (okay, the Los Angeles season DID suck, but it still had its moments). However, for as great as I believe the series is, NBC and Mark Burnett unceasingly botch the finale every single season — producing a bloated, awkward, and generally disappointing final episode that's usually more noteworthy for its length than anything else.

Going into tonight's results show of American Idol, prognosticators across the Internet were picking Kris Allen to be the unlucky sap to go home this week. If not him, then Allison Iraheta's number would be up. But what about Danny Gokey? He sounded like a blimp losing air for most of his performance, and while I might not know exactly what that sounds like, I can approximate it, and Danny perfectly matched said approximation. Yes, Danny was an epic fail last night, and across the Internet, people were ridiculing him to pieces. Would we be in store for a major upset? Could it be that Danny — after having avoided the bottom three all season — might at last go home???

Bethenny: "Huh. I thought we were all wearing MURDER GLOVES tonight."

Sadness. The Real Housewives of New York City has drawn to a close for the season, and while there's two whopping helpings of reunion next week, it just won't be the same. The good news is that we got the Jersey girls just 'round the corner, and let's face it, Bravo has smartly developed this franchise in such a way that we really can go a full year without having any gaps in our Housewives fix; so really, what the hell am I complaining about? Nuthin'.

American Idol is heading into the final stretch, and more so than ever, the producers are trying to position its contestants as the next biggest star on American radio; so what better way to put your finger on the pulse of today's youth than by having our wannabees croon to the music of... The Rat Pack? Seriously? I mean, why not have an Eartha Kitt night? Or the Best of Lawrence Welk? Heck, let's get some Edith Piaf up in this bitch. Point is the night's theme was anything but youthful, which is disappointing when there are so many great options from the '80s, '90s, and today (apologies for sounding like a radio station, but it IS the truth).