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The first part of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special aired last night, and the predominant feeling was... eh? I knew it would be damn near impossible to live up to the televised nirvana that was The Last Supper director's cut hour from last week, but who knew this reunion would be so bland? There was hardly a scuffle, nary a shout, and barely a bitchy accusation. So far, it's shaped up to be the worst Housewives reunion of the year! And just when we started to get some drama, emcee wunderkind Andy Cohen told the ladies to stop and save it for later. WTF??? Nevertheless, I'm not sure there were any notable moments worth sharing. Let's see...

BAM! It's a Nene house tour!

Check it out! Bravo JUST released this clip moments ago. The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back for season two, and joining them is new cast member Kandi, formerly of the '90s not-so-supergroup Xscape. To be honest, I haven't even watched this video. I'm just gonna post it, and then take a looksie. Should be fun...

I am incredibly excited for tonight's first hour of the two-part Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion; although, I fear that after last week's monster episodes, it's gonna be something of a letdown. I mean, how can you top Teresa's legendary table flip? You can't. You absolutely can't. Still, it should be a fun hour (even though the preview clips indicate a distinct lack of screaming and cursing).

Above, Teresa attempts — and fails — to defend her husband Joe's gay remarks. After the jump, some discussion about THE BOOK and the mob.

Talkin' about the fight.

Talkin' about the mob.

And just for fun, the table flip again.

In case you missed it last night, here's the explosive (read: HILARIOUS) video of Teresa flipping a table at Danielle, née Montana Moorehead, née Milton Moorehead, during the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale. Watching her rev herself up into a frenzy is something to behold. Even people who don't watch the show should be entertained by this clip.

Hype = fulfilled.

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

After weeks of anticipation, we finally got to see the epic brawl on The Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight, and it did not disappoint in the least. It was — as the kids say — O.O.C. (That stands for "Out of Control"). I'm telling you, there has never been a fight like this in Housewives, nay, Bravo history. There were lies, accusations, screams, and one unlucky tabletop that went falling to the floor. In short, it was amazing.

It's the moment we've been waiting months for. Ever since we saw Teresa flip a table during the Real Housewives of New Jersey preview special back in April, we've been eagerly anticipating what looks to be the most over-the-top blowout in Bravo history, and now the moment is almost here. Tonight, the shockingly short New Jersey season draws to a close with the ladies all gathering at a restaurant for dinner, and guess who makes things awkward? Good ol' Danielle. I won't tell you exactly what she does because it's so bizarre and awful yet wonderfully hilarious. You just have to see it for yourself in the clip above, which serves as a mere teaser for the drama (and airborne furniture) to come.

I suppose Tuesday night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was the calm before the storm. That's because next week, we're already at the much-hyped season finale where tables are flipped, fingers are pointed, and bellows of "WHHHHOORREEEEE!!!!" are screamed across all of Bergen county. Yeah, it's gonna be a doozy, and I personally can't wait. But for now, we have last night's pleasant but rather uneventful episode to contend with. Coming off the drama of "THE BOOK," I was really hoping this installment would build on the tension in Franklin Lakes, but it instead it served as a bit of a palate cleanser.

A few weeks ago, rumors swirled that Jeana Keough might not return for the next season of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Maybe she might want to reconsider that fat paycheck from Bravo as she's now defaulted on her mortgage to Chase. Yes, the beleaguered and often trod-upon housewife now owes over $37,000 to the bank and nearly $4,000 to her homeowners association. The former Playboy bunny told the Orange County Register that there's actually a method to the madness. Jeana claims she's applying for a loan modification, which necessitates that she ceases payment on her current mortgage in order to qualify. Sounds like a mess. And I'm sure Vicki has been happily clucking away about steps Jeana could have taken to avoid this situation.

I'm still waiting for Bravo to put up photos from last night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey; so in the meantime, take a look at this preview teaser for next week's season finale, which looks to be so epic that pseudo-Dark Knight music is used to score the action. Anticipation building!!!

"LET ME TELL YOU A SOMETHING ABOUT MY FAMILY: we ALL enjoy a good volcano love bowl once in a while."

It's official. I'm now loving The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It's nowhere near as amazing and perfect as New York, but I think it can hold its own with the rest of the franchise. Last night's episode was compelling (in a trashy, shouldn't-be-admitting-it kind of way) but also very funny. Caroline remains my favorite of the group with her guarded, maternal instincts. During the dance lesson, I thought she'd come roaring off her little couch the moment Danielle put Christopher's hands on her hips. Let me tell you a something about Caroline: she does not like cougars around her cubs.

It's only been two weeks since we last saw The Real Housewives of New York City, but Bravo thankfully injected us with a dose of reality methadone last night with its much welcomed "Lost Footage" special. I like the New Jersey cast and all, but honestly, it would be impossible to top the insanity and excellence of New York's second season. As such, seeing the likes of Jill and Bethenny and Ramona and Kelly was like having an old friend come over for dinner. Nothing but good times and fond memories. Really, none of the casts have anything on these ladies. Not only are they a perfect maelstrom of cattiness, but they live and operate in much more fascinating circles.

Earlier this month, NASA commenced the final servicing for the Hubble Telescope, and while the photos of the mission are fascinating, I felt they could use some added pizzazz. What better way to spice up some boring space shots than by adding some nouveau riche women into the mix?

After the jump, I present you The Real Housewives in outer space!

"My mother always told me I should build my own space ship because you never want to be dependent on anyone else's."

"I have a space shuttle just like this, except mine is made from MONEY."

And here it is. The alleged mug shot of Danielle Staub from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.